You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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