Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
