It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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