thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize