Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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