Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
