google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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