oh god the rape fog is back!
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Randomize
