smell my finger.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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