I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
