Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
