dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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