I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
