Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize