I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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