I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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