I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize