obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
nutella sex= disaster
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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