so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Tell her she can't have a vagina
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
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I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
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I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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