Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
