I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
