I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
