Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
