Who did Billy Mays play for?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I am available for nakedness
Randomize
