Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
