and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Randomize
