Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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