i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
i think we sleep fucked last night...
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
