THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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