Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
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