I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
