I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
