The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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