wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
how drunk are you?
Several
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
