I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
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