just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I know her cup size but not her name....
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