nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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