i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
he was CRYING into my vagina
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
