Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
