i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
