is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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