Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
