allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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