Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
50% drunk capacity currently
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize