I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize