That's intense
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
