so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize