I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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