Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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