I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
