you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
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I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
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How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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