My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
