the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize