Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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